Its not for someone who is self centered...

Its a simple thing.....Definitely not for someone self centered.. and who doesn't know what is sacrifice and compromise....

I have shown him love and can show him love again, but will he ever know whats love?

A post for my dearest...

We have come this far... been through so much... good times, bad times, ups and downs...Each time, it makes me realise how dear you are to me, i wanted to love and protect you like my little baby...

I loved it when u said i m a cherry QQ and u are a BMW...
I love it when u lie on my lap sleeping like a peaceful child...
I loved it when u asked me for massages and said it was great.. I said it was tailored for you and only you...
I loved it when u called me your "little fatty" and love me the way my figure is...cuz whats impt is my virtues...
I loved it when u said my boring voice puts you to sleep every night... but u still called to hear it..
I love you.... I wanted to hug you tightly... for the rest of my life...

But I know....Deep down in me... I am afraid.. afraid of losing this precious you... which i endear...

Becuz of this....I tried my best in whatever you like .. to put in my best into you...cuz i cant bear to lose you...

Insecurity is man's greatest ememy... because of this... i was holding on tightly to you and in the process pushing you further away from me... i was silly... now u are angry and disappointed... and i am lost....

It's not about the best...

We always say we want the best of everything, even when it comes to choosing our lifetime partner... we simply want to choose the best one. Sad to say, its not something that we can control... cuz there is this element called love, and once you fell into it, its not just a simple logic of choosing the best.

More simply, the union of two persons is a process of enjoying each other's company, laugh at mistakes, learn together and enjoy the process together; be it through tears, laughter, frustration or joy. No one can say he or she is the best.. there is a chinese saying that goes, there is always a mountain that is higher than the other. But that does not stop us from striving to be better..

Never be discouraged, when we view an issue, always split into two perspective. How much shortfall are you from your target, and how much have you progressed. The latter motivates you and gives you strength while the earlier gives you a push. The idea of it is to be positive. Think about the milestones acheieved.. the times spent together.. of cuz its not always a bed of roses... but its time well spent with the one you loved.

Love... what is it all about?

A mixture of feelings....

Caring for a close one requires certain tactics... if care, is expressed in a way thats not comprehensive to one, the effect can be disastrous though the intention is good..

It is through a process of interactions and maybe unhappy events that people come to terms or learn to come to terms with the other party's way of expression... arguments that comes along brings greater interaction and learning about one another.

This process of learning and understanding may take forever... cuz we are always learning new things about our close one... no wonder there is a saying that goes, it takes a min to fall in love.... and a lifetime to get along.. how true...

Learning...

Learning is all about progress that one takes to accomplish something. One talk about steep learning curve or linear and so on... the kind of learning curve brings about a whole lot of difference in experience. Steep is good, cuz its fast and linear is not bad either as there is constant progression.

Imagine a flight of stairs... a steep curve would be one with uneven but high steps that could take someone to his destination faster. But in doing so, one might have to brave the possibility of injury and being hurt in the process. If one manage to find a solution to counter the huge and uneven steps.. he would then master and take control of the process and reach his goal faster, otherwise, he would have to brave whatever that comes his way.

Linear progression is a much smoother though monotone process cuz its constant and the speed is fixed. however, it lacks the kind of excitement that comes with a steep learning curve....

choose what you wan, but bear with the journey, and try to enjoy the journey...

Appreciation

Every experience is an experience worth having. Life with all its limitations and pain, is still a treasure. Treasure what you have around you.... appreciate them...

Tots about...Rushing

Take time to appreciate what you are doing, one needs to understand that certain things... even the simpliest, like pouring a glass of water takes time.

Many of us are pushed into the rush theory, we want everything to be instant, not that we cannot afford the time sometimes, we are just impatient. Think about it... the more you rush, the faster it is towards the end, the end of what you want to achieve.. and what you have achieved...

Feeling contented is a wonderful experience, but we often forget to appreciate. Or maybe we don't know how to cuz we are too greedy to know how to appreciate. we crave for more to make ourselves even happier, such that in the process of doing so, we achieve the opposite sometimes.

Reflections...

Sometimes, we wonder if people with intellectual disability are happier, they seem to have lesser troubles and seem to be satisfied with what they have. True to an extend, but I believe its the extend of happiness and depression experienced that differs. Thankful that normal people like us, in such a short lifetime that we have on this earth, we are able to experience such emotions deeply. Whether its happiness, whether its hurtful, it is sweet, it is painful. Grateful for these... I feel alive.

Complicated... or purely Simple

Human beings love to complicate matters... to link things up and to exaggerate.. whether on purpose or not. Somehow this trait is found in many. We think, we infer, we interpret, we predict and maybe we assume.. sometimes alittle too much.. when in fact, some things can be very simple...

and because we think too much, we let our thoughts spread like the veins running through our body.. making things complicated and confusing. we suffer...

Or maybe miscommunications or lack of communications is the cause. When you can't get the message, you fill in the blanks yourself, according to what you think it should be...

Change is the only constant, only true love connected to the heart will last...

People change... and its normal.... just be careful of what one is changing into... its easy to get lost in oneself... undetected alone...

Is it regret or is it just not meant to be...

Once there was a backpacker exploring a country's marketplace. he came across an antique vase which attracted him at first sight. after asking for the price, he bought it without hestitation. along the way, villagers told him that there was a mountain that offers spectular view at the peak and that it was definitely worthed it to ascend to the peak. Excited by that, the backpacker decided to do so.

When he reached the foot of the mountain, he was taken back by the rough terrain that was presented before him. however, he was determined to climb it. at this moment, the vase that he bought at the marketplace became too cumbersome for him to carry up the peak. however, the desire to see that sepctular view is too strong for him to care about anything else. thus, he decided to leave the vase: to leave it at the foot of the mountain, hoping that it would still be there when he descend.

True enough, he managed to climb to the peak with his fit body and determination. the view was what was promised.. indeed breathtaking. being a photographer by profession, he took some spectular pictures and after admiring the scenery, he descend.

when he arrived at the foot, the vase was as expected... gone.

the backpacker entered his pictures for the annual exhibition.

when he was at the event itself, something caught his attention... a similar view from the peak.. but with a twist... the vase!

The vase was in the foreground with the scenery as the background. this picture was awarded the picture of the year, but the photographer was just a commoner who happened to ascend the same peak as he did. the difference being, this commoner could not bear to see such a beautiful thing being left alone at the foot of the mountain, being weathered by the strong wind, sun and rain. he knows that it would be trouoblesome carrying something fragile up the mountain, but his perservance and care for the beauty overcomed all that. at the peak, it strucked him that the beautiful piece of workmanship, if taken into a picture with the works of nature, might strike some kind of chemistry... and there it goes, it won him the honour.. indeed.

To the backpacker, when he saw that picture, he was dumbfounded with mixed feelings.. he once owned the vase, he gave it up.. and missed it... . regret.. or resign to fate that it is just not meant to be...or maybe.. he is just blinded by his desires to succeed in ascending the mountain.. as simple as that...

Moving

Nobody knows what life has in store for us. By taking this step now, maybe it will be for the better or maybe it will be for regret. But there is a saying that goes, rather take a step back than to not take at all. The underlying word(s) here, Stagnant..Trying... One got to keep going, keep moving.. towards the direction that is desired.

The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.

Tots...about love

It something that gives us the energy, the power.. to go on even when the world around seems upside down.. Distance and time will not be an issue, its the efforts that counts.. being together just seems so right... Your mood depends alot on it.. as much as you try to control your emotions, they just flow...

Tots... about communication

Mobile technology has left us hooked onto being connected with the rest of the world, such that we felt insecure leaving home without them.. Life being so dependent on an object.. are we sick?
However, its so ironic that while mobile sales are soaring high, people are not communicating much to each other.. that sets me thinking what do people use the phones and lines for?

Its not so much where we are, but in what direction we are moving.

Its not about where we go, what we do or how long we are going to spend together, its the prescence that matters... a smile, a look and a touch is all that are needed...

Tots... about setbacks

I feel that it was when one could not fit into the norm that one starts to think and look for alternatives... I was looking for ways in which I could leave the education system in Singapore and do something else... but obviously I didn't in the end, because I have successfully integrated into the norm, and this thought of looking for direction and alternatives disappear...

Often, people don stop to reflect and check their direction in life until they are feeling low or are in rough times... and when they do, they realised that they are lost...

Tots... about Happiness

The picture of happiness:

Happiness encompasses both ups and downs in Life. One needs to experience both to know happiness. The Circles represents age, just like the rings in the trunks of trees. As we go through life, we face smooth and rough times as presented by the textured squares. Often, there are both good and bad times in a rough patch as well. As years passes and age increases, the circle gets bigger and so does the picture of happiness.

Tots...

Why is it that people always only know how to treasure thigs only when they have lost it or are near to losing it? Showing concern for someone only when they know they might lose him/her soon, or maybe showing concern just because they have to, to avoid criticism by others. Its such a sad thing.

Perspective... which side are you from?

Many of us like to draw a clear line between right and wrong, but often there is no such clear boundary and its all a matter of perspective. The statement, the early bird gets the juicy worm first. True enough this statement is right. However, it assumes that we are all the birds... but is that necessary? What happens if we are the worm? Then we wouldn't go early to get eaten by the bird, knowing that the bird would go there early, right? wrong?

Yes, its all a matter of perspective which many of us fail to consider...

Tots... about our education system

Every little kid in our country is being placed into a pair of shoes commerically designed by a shoemaker, when they were as young as 3 or 4 yrs of age...and then, they were forced to run a marathon in that pair of shoes. The shoes' cutting fitted a group of them and they excelled... running really fast ahead. For the majority, they each spent a different number of years trying to make their feet grow to fit into the shoes, and when they succeed, they being to run faster to catch up with their fast counterparts...





And yes, there are some minority who just cannot fit their feet into the shoes nicely... the cutting is simply not suitable for them.. but they still tried hard... and in the mist, they are sometimes laughed at by the society which deem that they are lousy... cuz at the end of the day, people are just concerned with the fact that they are the ones who couldnt make it.. no one cares about the ill-fitting shoes...

Tots... about Life

Life is a cycle of ups and downs, we all began at the same point- a crying baby in our mother's arms. Everyone has his turn to experience ups and downs, and at least one major down in his whole life. Some people experience their share of down when they were in the earlier part of their life, others till very much later... A fraction had life with one or two major setbacks, while some have little minor ones distributed throughout their life.. those who had major setbacks would often envy the latter, not knowing that the downs portion in their life is equal, with the difference lying in their distribution. So in that sense.. I try to think that Life is fair.. If you do not think so, then maybe Life has given you something more in areas which you have failed to notice...


An analogy being when you are sick and feeling life is unfair to you, maybe it has given you something that you failed to notice... like being showered with care and concern, building relationships with closed ones, even your doctor..